When Good Bras Go Bad by Gayle Trent

Author:Gayle Trent [Trent, Gayle]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Grace Abraham Publishing
Published: 2012-12-17T06:00:00+00:00

On the way home, I got to thinkin’ about how long it took me to get comfortable last night before I could go to sleep. You see, I like to sleep on my stomach. But—like every woman who likes to sleep on her belly, I imagine—I have a hard time gettin’ comfortable on account of my boobs. Either they’re mushed up under my chin to where I can hardly breathe or else I have to try to tuck ‘em under my arms.

I’ve decided somebody needs to make a bed with a boob trench. It could have two removable cushions, one on either side of the bed. That way, your husband—if you’ve got one—wouldn’t have to worry about havin’ his boobs in the trench. Although, Harold Miller, Tansie’s husband—God rest his soul—could’ve certainly put a boob trench to good use. He used to come out and mow the yard in just his cut-off jeans and sandals, and I’d say he was a double D cup at the very least.

Anyhow, you could remove the cushions off whichever side you sleep on, lay down on your belly, and allow your boobs to gently rest in the trench. Now, mind you, the trench would be cushiony mattress stuff. It wouldn’t be a hole. God forbid you’d have your tender bosom just hangin’ there between the bed and the floor…especially if you’ve got a cat.

If you’d take a notion to sleep on your side or somethin’, you could just slip your pillow back in the trench. And, of course, you’d do that in the mornin’ when you got up so the bed would look nice and not have a big dip in it after you made it up.

Well, the more I thought about it, the more the idea grew on me. Somebody really ought to invent a boob-trench bed. Then, you know what? It dawned on me. Why not Lenny? He was smart, and he was willin’ to work. Plus, since he’s a high school student, he might be able to get some grant money to do it with. How proud Delphine and Lenny’s daddy would be! And I bet his sorry, good-for-nothin’ mama would wish she’d never walked off and left such a wonderful young ‘un. Maybe he’d get rich and famous, too. And that little Katie Couric from the “Today” show—and maybe even Oprah—would talk to him on television and he’d say it was all my idea and that I was real special to him.

You know, it must’ve been meant to be because as I pulled in the driveway, here came the bus. As I got out of the car, Lenny was gettin’ off the bus.

“Howdy, Ms. Crumb!” he hollered.

“Hi, darlin’. Have you got a minute? I’ve got an idea I wanna run past you.”

“Let me go tell Granny.”

I went in and went through the kitchen to open the back door for Matlock. He enjoys bein’ outside on these pretty days. When I got back to the living room, Lenny was knockin’ on the door.

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